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It's my LJ and I'll rant if I want to

You would rant too if you could do it as eloquently as I

There is a theory about time, which proposes that the way time moves forward from moment to moment is by the complete and instantaneous destruction of the universe, each and every moment, after which it is replaced with the entirely new universe of the next moment.
The advantage of this theory is the implication that the past does not exist, that all history is an illusion, and thus negates the need for a biography. You can simply assume I sprung into existance exactly as I am now.